One Year Anniversary of the Official Bored at Work Thread

[SkinsRaj28]

I think that was the first thread I ever created at the RX, 6/30/2005, or at least the first one in the RR, where I lived when I first joined this forum. Actually dug it up, but decided to create a new thread instead...funny how much changes in a year, but also how little.

Different internship, same boring BS(just a different type).

I'll kick off this summer's thread with a little rant about how I have to come in the day before the 4th. There are like four people at the office today, total. Project manager could've easily let me and the other interns "work from home" like everybody else who isn't out for vacation, but instead she decides to make us come in simply because she was. Slut.

And to make matters worse, I've misplaced my headphones, so I can't even watch TV or listen to music. It's a good thing I live five minutes from work and go home for two hour lunch breaks on a daily basis. This internship has almost as little supervision as my last one(knock on wood).

And now, a couple updates from last year's thread:

OldirtyKu and I have been trying to get laid off for months now to no avail.
Apparently I'm not even good at that.

One year later, Juice still hasn't been laid off(actually got a raise I think)...

Skins,

I am tryign my best to get laid off. I would love a nice 2 month severance package so I can sit my fat ass at home and play poker online. Naw, it really not that bad. I can come and go as I please as long as I have all my work done. On top of that I keep getting awards for leavign on friday's at 3. I built a shrine on my wall of high5 awards, plaques, coffee mugs, and company gear. Imma get my coat framed.

Send me your resume. I can get you a job u can sit in Juan's seat since he is leaving. I am going drinking around 2ish today. Celebrate our nations birth a few days early.

KU

One year later, Ku still hasn't been fired...but is actually leaving at the end of this week for another job. Motherfucker, I'm still stuck here for another month and change.

Funny thing is, I actually DID get a summer job with these guys...good thing I'm here to carry the slacker torch now that Ku's leaving. I think I've already gone above and beyond the call of duty. Brown power.

johnkelsington and Tulsa made appearances in last year's thread...always nice to get some legitimate posters contributing to the BS.

RR was my first home when I started at the RX...it's seen its ups and downs over the past year, I'm sure RobFunk will attest to that. This is the place where newbies should shine. Pick it up fellas.

A HenHouse sighting would be nice, though...guy carried this place for weeks at a time.

Since I'm sure no one else is stuck at work today like me, I'll probably bump this on Wednesday, and periodically throughout the summer...having nothing to do(knock on wood) = good stuff.

I'll leave you with a quote from last year's thread:

This is the kind of shit people get fired for.........

 

[RobFunk]

Ah Skins. Don't get all emo on us.

But if you are going down memory lane in the RR then you could never exclude the following:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/gijoe-porkchopsandwiches.html

 

[SkinsRaj28]

hahahahahaha

I can always count on you to come through in the clutch, Funk. For the three and the win...GOT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I took a two-hour lunch break, came home and played video games, went back to work, found out that my boss had come into our intern room and told the other two that we could work from home for the rest of the day. The woman made us come in this morning after rejecting our request to work from home for the entire day, then sends us home around noon anyway? WTF. I should still be asleep right now.

Time spent in the office: 3 hours
Amount of time worked(according to timesheet): 8 hours
Amount of time actually worked: 0 hours

 

[Dawoofdaddy]

A job well done Raj.

Now I know why I never believe govt worker productivity statistics.

:money:

 

[Arodd]

why did this get RRed?
sad story

 

[SkinsRaj28]

why did this get RRed?
sad story

I created it in the RR homo. It was the right thing to do, since the first one was made down here last summer. Tradition motherfucker.

 

[FairWarning]

Thanks for the "contributions" Skins.

 

[bullets]

beer

 

[Arodd]

bullshit, get this shit to the main room....fuck the RR

 

[kingbill]

Not sure if you guys have ever read Harmon Leon but the guy is Hilarious, this one seems to fit

How to get Fired in 3 hours

http://www.thewavemag.com/printarticle.php?articleid=21668

Jobs are important! They give you a sense of self-worth. After all, you are what you do, even if you have a college education and now change urinal mints in a porno truckstop restroom. That said, I've decided to join the workforce. But unlike most of you, I hope to get fired—faster than you can say ''401k.'' See, keeping a job is really easy: just nod, smile, laugh at the boss' jokes, flip the burgers when they're ready and resist all urges to pee in the coffeemaker. But the art of getting fired has been buried beneath the shrapnel of the dotcom bomb. And on the coming pages, I'm going to show you how to bring it back. It's gratifying to hear, ''You're fired.'' It's closure. It's like ending a bad relationship and knowing a booty call is completely out of the question — a clean break.
My goalwas to find a job and get fired within three hours. But to make my challenge all the more difficult, the editors of this publication put forth the following ground rules:
1) I cannot put a single true bit of
information on my job application.
2) I must be indignant during the
interview process.
3) I must show up late for my first
day of work.
4) I must talk in a fake foreign accent.
5) I must refuse to do things.
6) I must use the word ''motherf*cker'' as an adjective.
7) I must make up a nickname for the boss.
I start out checking the want ads, looking for jobs whose only requirement is Must Speak English. I begin to worry. Then I called Jack in the Box.
The Interview
I interviewed twice in the same week with the same manager at Jack in the Box, using two separate disguises. Though very bright, this manager did not realize he was actually interviewing the same person.
Disguise #1: Willie
Willie Ames is an endearingly good-natured Australian with thick glasses who wears a ''Tight Butts Drive Me Nuts!'' T-shirt and has an unfortunate egg noodle stuck to his face. He hails from the fictitious outback town of Derby, located near the larger town of Biggleston. On a San Francisco spring day, he is dressed for a blizzard.
Disguise #2: Hans
Hans Liederburg is from Bruegerdorf, Germany. Hans doesn't speak much English but is well versed in fast-food preparation, having worked a 12-year stint at ''Ein Burger Haus.'' Hans wears a business suit to the interview and carries a briefcase.
Below is an actual exchange from the interview:
Manager: It says here your last job was at85 the85 Ein Burger Haus?
Me: Ya! This information is correct!
Manager: Tell me about your duties at Ein Burger Haus.
Me: I had many, many, many ways to make burgers.
Manager: Do you have experience with cash registers?
Me: Ya, I like to work with machines!
The odds makers took a beating when the German beat the Australian. Ultimately, it was Hans' impressive credentials that landed him the job. As Hans, I was hired to work the 10 pm to 6 am graveyard shift at San Francisco's Lombard Street Jack in the Box. Let's work!
10:00 pm — My assigned shift begins.
10:25 pm — I arrive for work.
10:26 pm —I am reprimanded, but lay on a thick, confused German accent.
10:35 pm — I turn in my clothes for a Jack in the Box uniform, which is made from a medley of itchy artificial
materials.
10:37 pm — Wow, lucky me! My uniform is too small! Nothing could highlight this experience like some ill-fitting work clothes. My nametag says ''Hank.''
10:47 pm — I sit down so the manager can show me a training video on ''How to Avoid Slippage,'' ''Identifying Hazards'' and ''Grooming and Hygiene,'' but the VCR is broken. We move on.
11:02 pm — I meet the graveyard shift manager, Don. He has bad breath. I ask Don what day we get paid.
11:03 pm — Don's new nickname becomes ''Sport.''
11:05 pm — It's bizarre how no one introduces themselves. I guess I just have to pay my dues. Veronica, a teenage girl with a neck hickey, is ordered to take me under her wing and show me the ropes. She is my friend. She is my comrade. We are a team! We make jokes about french fries. I ask Veronica stupid questions. She answers all of them.
Veronica: This is the button you push for Coke.
Me: So do you push it if you want Sprite?
Veronica: No.
Me: Why not?
Veronica: Because you push the Sprite button for Sprite.
11:40 pm — I ask Veronica if she thinks my work pants make me look fat. She flatters me: ''No.'' For a brief instant, I get into the working groove. I have job pride! I shall be the best! I give a respectful nod to Veronica.
11:42 pm — The working groove ends.
11:53 pm — Though I began my shift with a German accent and poor comprehension of English, I slowly segue back into my regular voice. It goes completely unnoticed. This fake German accent thing must happen fairly often at Jack in the Box.
11:55 pm — I ask Sport if I can go on break. He says no. I roll my eyes and sigh longly, loudly.
11:57 pm -- Bathroom break. For way too long. No one minds, not even Sport. I decide to put serious effort into getting fired. I also decide to avoid the fry area at all costs to prevent any zany fryer mishaps. Instead, I leave the shake machine running, but someone just turns it off. Maybe it was Veronica (my comrade!). It is nearly impossible to make these people angry.
12:30 am -- The zipper on my pants is open. Work continues.
12:36 am -- When I go into the break room, change into my regular clothes and go back to work, I am confronted. I say my work uniform is ''too itchy.''
12:38 am — I am informed of the appropriate work uniform. I change in the break room and wander around the restaurant pretending to be senile. Will these people never get mad?
12:54 am -- Veronica tells me to clean around the fryer. I nod my head and start refilling the napkin dispensers.
12:58 am — Sport tells me to take over the counter. When two customers walk up to the register at the same time, I freak out. ''We're swamped!'' I cry.
1:07 am — I change out of the uniform again, recycling the itchy excuse. No dice. Once more, I'm told about the appropriate uniform.
1:12 am — Back to the German accent, I get into a verbal argument with a drunk customer. I challenge him to a fight. He calls me a loser. At least I can finally use the word ''motherf*cker'' as an adjective.
1:14 am — Sport explains that neither fighting nor creative name-calling is Jack in the Box policy. Goddammit, what do you have to do to get fired around here? I hope I don't have to kill anyone; I'm not prepared for that.
1:22 am — This is futile. It's impossible to get fired! I get anxious. The walls close in. I look to Veronica for hope, but she's on break! My thoughts become desperate. As a last resort I feign illness. I chew up some french fries, take a swig of vanilla shake and spit it all over the restaurant floor. ''Ich bin sick!'' I yell behind the counter. I head home on sick leave, unfired.
Getting fired wasn't as easy as I expected. In fact, I still had my job the next morning and ultimately had to stop coming to work before Jack in the Box finally terminated our relationship. Alas, I never got to hear those three beautiful words, ''You. Are. Fired!'' On the bright side, there are a handful of fast food chains waiting for my application. Stay tuned.

 

[oldirtyku]

Your an attention whore...

 

[SkinsRaj28]

FairWarning - don't mention it. High quality threads are my specialty.

Ku - Yeah I am...biggest attention whore on theRX, just ask Wil. I should start bumping my picks threads hourly...but even then it wouldn't be as often as some others. I'm still the biggest attention whore here, though...screw them.

I also decided that I liked the whole showing up for work at 10 AM thing...so I'm doing that for the rest of the week. Still taking my two hour lunch break, though. Punk bitches.

 

[TescoVee]

im too lazy to look at the old thread but i remember laughing my balls at it.
what type of jobs do you guys have?

when I had a good male intern, I used to make him pick up my lunch and I would time him. if he couldnt get back in X amount of minutes, it would come out of his pocket. If he made it under, lunch was on me.

of course i also tried to only hire females so all of us pervs could stare all day.

 

[SkinsRaj28]

im too lazy to look at the old thread but i remember laughing my balls at it.
what type of jobs do you guys have?

when I had a good male intern, I used to make him pick up my lunch and I would time him. if he couldnt get back in X amount of minutes, it would come out of his pocket. If he made it under, lunch was on me.

of course i also tried to only hire females so all of us pervs could stare all day.

I'm an intern at some consulting firm...they do shit with computer, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing...my brother works here, so that's how I got the internship. I'm a journalism major for christ's sake. I don't do jack shit. Ku or Juice can better explain what goes on here.

That's awesome what you did with that intern...shit if that were me, at least it'd make my day interesting. What do you do?

This is my daily Bored at Work Thread gift to you(make sure you watch the entire thing, past the credits):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2791629999704699170&q=Graham+Biller

Actually posted this in another thread yesterday, but just to make a point. Enoy. Sesame Street + Bone Thugs = crazy delicious.

 

[RobFunk]

Skins, what is your ultimate goal in journalism?

To have your own show like Larry King or Bill O'Rielly or something.

 

[SkinsRaj28]

My ultimate goal has always been to become a sports writer in some capacity...whether it's for a newspaper, magazine, website, etc. I've been writing for newspapers since my junior year of high school. But I'd really do anything in the sports industry, radio, anything really.

Unfortunately, this dream/goal is becoming far less likely for me to reach, mainly because of my unwillingness to start over again. I've covered high school and local sports for years and frankly, I'm unwilling to do more of the same once I graduate. I feel like I should be past all that crap and have been told that my writing far exceeds that of someone my age. Regardless, breaking into the journalism field typically requires starting from the bottom and working up, and I don't think I could deal with having to go back to covering high school sports again. Pretty stubborn on my part, but oh well.

Honestly, I love sports and I'm a pretty good writer, so I just put 2 and 2 together and decided to pursue a journalism career. But I'd do just about anything in the sports industry, since it's one of my few true interests(unfortunately). But yeah, the writing thing is just something that made sense, not something to which I feel particularly tied down.

We'll see what happens, though. I'm open to any possibilities and have worked in a variety of places, most of which had nothing to do with sports.

Bottom line: I'm an idiot and am moving in with my brother once he gets a job. hahaha

 

[TescoVee]

i know its cliche but why not just start your own sports blog. sportsguy, deadspin, sportspickle all got going. just offer something they dont. like the gambling angle.

has to be some money in that once you get the ball rolling.

i work at one of the big record labels. get to listen to shitty music all day online or on cd. its getting pretty corporate so they arent hiring as many of us retards as they used to.

 

[TescoVee]

oh yeah enjoy some entertainment courtesy of my buddies. their band is putting a dvd out soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZLOpdUCYNU&search=crom%20dvd

 

[SkinsRaj28]

Always thought about starting a sports blog...but it'd just be a lot of opinion mixed with absolutely retarded shit. Example: "Ohhhhhhh, Ryan Zimmerman just hit a walk-off HR to win it for the Nats! I immediately went to my room and masturbated furiously."

That sort of material is typically reserved for my away messages...but we'll see.

It's actually funny...literally five minutes after I made that post above in response to RobFunk's question, I got a call from the big newspaper in Richmond offering me a part-time job working the copy desk in the sports department. Not in Richmond till mid-to-late August, so I'm not sure if it'll still be available, plus I'm taking a shitload of classes in the Fall, so it's not a go as of right now, but I just thought it was ironic.

You work at a record label? How'd you score that job? Always hear kids my age trying to get into that type of shit, but it never pans out. Hook me up a free Clay Aiken CD. LOLOLOL

 

[kidslick]

Your an attention whore...

very well sais
just look under my name tag, it say's it all


skin -have you ever deposited a big load at the workplace, you know bust a nut, it has to be at work